Category: Diary

January 15, 2026, Thursday.
Weatherford, Oklahoma.

My dear wife says she has made various suicide attempts throughout the past week. Thank goodness none of them worked. And since she's telling me this, I suppose she means to say "save me".

So I immediately reached out to her mother. I feel sorry for the poor woman too. We also talked with her older sister about what we can do.

I say my wife, but it's a long story.

If you go to a foreign country, find a local woman and make her believe you love her just to get residency there, and one day when you're done, you leave without looking back, it means you're a despicable, dishonorable son of a bitch, right?

January 5, 2026, Monday.
Somerset, Pennsylvania.

A new year has begun. The search for excitement starts immediately whenever a new year kicks off. Will something new happen? People get so bored if nothing new occurs.

And something brand new did happen. Our President Donald Trump went to Venezuela, put their president in a sack, and brought him back to America. I mean, what more could you want? There's your excitement.

Could such a thing have been predicted? Hardly. And it didn't even end there. Greenland is next. There are events in Iran. Things are being said about Cuba.

Adrenaline is at its peak. It's impossible for us to be bored. We’re watching it like a match. May the best one win.

December 28, 2025, Sunday.
Kimball, Nebraska.

The mornings of the cold season are hungover. If you look at its face, it gives you the feeling that it's going to throw up. It doesn't refrain from throwing up anyway: one day rain, one day snow; every day mud, every land.

I woke up in Northern Indiana on Saturday morning and drove to Illinois. As soon as I crossed the border, I bought potato börek and ayran from a Bosnian food place. Topped off with a slice of chocolate cake, along with a glass of tea.

When I arrived at the parking lot of the company I work for, they changed my truck. I left the swaying Volvo there, grabbed my stuff into a beast of a Kenworth there, and continued on my way with this vehicle.

December 19, 2025, Friday.
Coldwater, Michigan.

2 days left until winter comes. Days are not days on the north side. The morning passed in snowfall. I freeze every time I get out of the truck.

Now they will load 20 tons of sausages from here tonight and I will take these sausages to the Mexican border, to California, driving for a few days.

December 9, 2025, Tuesday.
Wapato, Washington.

We are laughing with the young members of the public who have long digested their oppression while sipping our beverages.

The cost of parking here is 10 dollars. However, if you shop for 25 dollars from the market, then you don't have to pay a price for parking until morning.

I bought a sandwich, a croissant, peanuts, tea, but I just couldn't round it up to 25 dollars. A different kind of beverage caught my eye. I asked the kid at the register about it. He said it was a good thing, "I drank it, I like it," he said. I bought one for him, and one for myself.

November 30, 2025, Sunday.
Haw River, North Carolina.

Life is short and we don't make love enough. If only my debts would end, so I could meet up with escorts again. I really miss chubby women.

My father's death didn't shake me. A different energy came to me after that day. I felt that I needed to be stronger. I must laugh more. I must have more fun. I must exist more. Because I am next in line. And my time will be over in the blink of an eye.

Death is actually a magnificent thing. The peace we lost and search for is there. However, life is a fun game too. We started and we don't want it to end.

And the fact that it will end one day is guaranteed. From that perspective, we are relaxed too. There is no problem with us acting spoiled and falsely wishing for it not to end. It will end anyway. Whether we want it or not, eternal peace will take us away.

November 23, 2025, Sunday.

My father passed away this morning.

My mother has Alzheimer's. My father felt an oddness in her condition today. He called emergency for my mom. But we think he experienced great sorrow at that moment thinking something would happen to my mom, and his already sick heart couldn't handle this sorrow.

Because they found my father hugging my mom but with his heart stopped when they arrived home.

His conscience wasn't clear. He was also blaming himself for the condition my mom fell into.

He wasn't wrong. We were all to blame regarding my mom's condition. We all upset her a lot. But of course, maybe my father upset her the most. After all, he was the closest to her, our father. He was her husband.

November 17, 2025, Monday.
Buffalo, New York.

You are always the lights in the eyes of truckers who have grown massive due to their profession. You shine in the distance. Even if you don't properly illuminate your surroundings, you are still a hope for those who live alone. If we are in trouble, we take refuge in you.

There are deer by the side of the road. One of them will get crushed under the truck shortly. There are deer by the side of the road. Deer with beautiful eyes, beautiful noses, beautiful tails. Just like Kübra. Kübra has beautiful eyes, a beautiful nose too. Even though she doesn't have a tail, she has a beautiful butt, if I may say so.

Last week was the most profitable of weeks. I earned more than three thousand dollars in a week. The Christmas season has started to make itself felt. The sultan of eleven months starts in November across the ocean. You're going to sell whatever you can sell from Black Friday to Christmas.

November 11, 2025, Tuesday.
Pearl, Mississippi.

I brought chicken here from South Carolina. $2000. Seven hundred dollars is mine. And tomorrow I'll pick up a load from here and go to Utah. That's $3000 too. A thousand dollars of that is mine too. My debt, which was 45 thousand dollars, has dropped below 29 thousand dollars right now. I need to keep paying 1500-2000 every week. The faster we close these debts, the sooner we get rid of working and maybe rest a bit. I can't wait to go to Tijuana and get massage services from the hands of 18-year-old girls.

I am 37 years old. Marilyn Monroe, Princess Diana, and Bob Marley passed away at 36.

A 37-year-life like mine, or a 36-year-life like Marilyn's, Diana's, or Bob's?

November 2, 2025, Sunday.
Rock Springs, Wyoming.

I am taking 20 tons of peas from Chehalis, Washington to Dallas. The length of the trip is 2142 miles. The price is $6250. As the driver, 30% is mine: $1875. Picked it up Friday, will drop it off Monday. So, a 3-day drive. $625 daily. May God bless it.

Around $3000 will be deposited into my account on Friday again. I will immediately send $300 to my dad, $100 to my sibling. I'll buy $250 worth of Bitcoin. There is a poor girl I'm giving a scholarship to, I'll send her $100. I'll set aside $400 for myself. I will bury the rest into the credit cards, hopefully. I had about 31 thousand dollars of debt left last time.

This scholarship conversation wasn't actually a scholarship, but fate spun its web. We had actually been flirting in messages for years. But of course, the girl is the age of my daughter. I was basically providing financial help in exchange for those messages, that conversation, that relationship.