May 10, 2026, Sunday.
South Beloit, Illinois.

Various kinds of faces. Various kinds of women. Object. Objects. We are all objects.

Slanted eyes, black skins, blonde hair; various kinds of objects.

My horniness is upon me again.

I dropped the truck off at Penske for an oil change. Because it’s the weekend, it got left for Monday. They gave me another truck to sleep in at night for 3 days. That’s why I can’t masturbate. I don’t feel like I’m in my own home.

My birthday also passed in this truck. 38 years left behind. I don’t really like it being celebrated either. It’s not that important actually. This is my first birthday after my dad died. Normally, my dad would celebrate my birthday before anyone else. And normally my uncle, my cousin wouldn’t celebrate my birthday. I guess they took pity a little because I’m fatherless. They celebrated my birthday for the first time this year. I was surprised.

My cousin was in Geneva last week. He attended a meeting at the United Nations. Related to the economy. Representing a large holding company. He shared a photo with the president’s advisors or whatever on his story.

Finally, someone successful came out of the extended family. I became a disappointment. I followed him up to university but then he got his master’s degree, while I chose to be a laborer in America.

Actually, I wanted a master’s degree too, but my financial situation wasn’t suitable.

My cousin is 3 years older than me. He went to a private high school, I followed him; he went to university, I followed him. While at university, we shared the same house. I used to love him. He loved me too. We realized we couldn’t get along when we were housemates.

He was very self-confident. Whenever I introduced a girl I liked, a week later I would see her coming out of his bedroom. Heavy trauma, right?

When he reached marriage age, he determined one or two rich candidates. One was a foreigner. She was the daughter of a family that had vineyards and produced wine. The other was a medical graduate. And everyone in her family was a physician too. He became the son-in-law to the family of physicians. The family elder was intimate with politicians. They placed the son-in-law in good places. That’s the reason why he is in Switzerland today.

Now he is a father of two children. But like every married man, he is after a fling. I am known for my interest in the prostitution industry. And married men reach out to me the most. Single men don’t really have an issue with escorts. Married men, on the other hand, definitely ask for escorts. The cousin also wants us to meet up and go to an escort, like every married man. It hasn’t been our destiny to go together yet, but it looks like we will go sometime.

Actually, the cousin can’t come to America. Because when he was a student, he had submitted photoshopped documents to the consulate to get a visa, and because of this, the guy’s applications were always rejected. He said he wouldn’t apply again the last time. He’s also a bit arrogant. He said ‘fuck America’. And he is right. He traveled, and travels everywhere. He just couldn’t come here.

Even though I work day and night and earn money, I am always in debt because of the money I spend on women. For that reason, I could never just leave and go. For these reasons, we haven’t been able to meet up with the cousin for years.

I love the cousin. He is a smart man, a funny man. Moreover, he is handsome and someone who loves to take care of himself. We diverge there too. I pay attention to neither my clothes nor my hair and beard. That’s why I don’t really care about women who aren’t escorts. Because attracting the attention of women who aren’t escorts is bothersome. Who’s going to bother? Instead, give $200 and be done with it. I don’t know. That’s what I think.

There are various kinds of faces in the catalogs of agencies. Various kinds of women. Object. Objects. We are all objects.

Slanted-eyed ones, black-skinned ones, blonde-haired ones; various kinds of models.