April 30, 2026, Thursday.
Tifton, Georgia.

The problem is in the language. Because language is just a shadow of what goes through the mind. We can never fully express our thoughts. Because our brain works much faster than our tongue. And our brain thinks of many things at the same time. But our tongue doesn’t have the capability to tell many things at the same time. Thus, even if we speak by carefully choosing, what we tell remains half-finished and we become the loser of the argument. All of us. This is why all arguments are inconclusive. This is why we can’t convince each other at the end of arguments. And finally, it is again for this reason that this entire paragraph tells everything I want to tell very incompletely, and you have already caught a bunch of mistakes.

Our shadow shrinks and grows depending on where we stand in the light. Our shadow changes place because of the angle. The shadow of the same thing is seen in different places at different angles. That’s what language does too. We voice our thoughts, but because of the angles, because of the angles looked from, because of the points of view, different perceptions are formed. What is told is the same. We all read the same sentences. But everyone understands what they want to. That’s why we will never be able to provide justice. That’s why we will not be able to reach the same opinion on whether it’s a penalty or not. That’s why we will always see ourselves as having been wronged. Because being human requires this.

By repeatedly claiming that we want to know the truth, we will run away from the truth as much as we can run. What we want to know isn’t the truth itself. Actually, we just want to convince ourselves that we want to know the truth. It is hard to admit being a fraud. Instead, we claim that we were misunderstood. Just like the way I’ve been paving for three paragraphs. I explained and explained, but my tongue’s power wasn’t enough. We don’t have enough time to transfer what’s in our minds either.

You read a whole page of a book and it takes you one second to visualize what is written there in your mind. When you try to explain the one-second portrait you visualized in your mind with all its details, this can take minutes, writing this can take pages.

We don’t know each other well enough. The truth is that we will never be able to meet. We can present our summaries, and the summaries of our summaries to each other. And we judge everyone with the summary of these summaries. Exceedingly incomplete, exceedingly faulty. And then we complain because we couldn’t provide justice. As if this were possible. That’s where arrogance tricks us sometimes. We don’t want to accept that our capability is more limited than we think. We are afraid of facing the truth that we won’t be able to manage. We are ashamed of not knowing. And finally, we make things up. We lie. Probably because we don’t want to believe that we are liars, we make ourselves believe our lies too.

Pick up:

104 Alan Drive, Newark, Delaware.

29/04/2026 15:00

Delivery:

115 Tyson Street, Moultrie, Georgia.

01/05/2026 08:00

All along the long road from Delaware to Georgia, I pondered over such empty, trivial things and stalled. Now I have arrived in Tifton. Tomorrow morning I will drive for another 30 minutes and deliver the load. I need to make a lot of money. I need to close my debts. I need to work until my mother dies. After my mother dies, I will deal with music. Then I will die too, and I will be freed from thinking, from wanting, from desiring, from dreaming, from being disappointed.

The name of the state of Delaware also apparently comes from the words “deli avare” (crazy vagabond) in Turkish. Lie, lie. Don’t believe everything right away.

I googled it just now, it apparently comes from the title of some dickhead named De La Warr. We acquired some general knowledge, look, you’re lucky again, you little rascal.

By the way, “dalyarak” (dickhead) is apparently written as one word too. I checked the Turkish Language Association dictionary. Look, you’re still believing. Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Whereas the entry had started so beautifully. God damn you. I’m going to sleep. Good night.

De La Rock, dickhead, Jeanne d’Arc, rosy cheek.