One of the first girls I fell in love with was Lamia. Even her name was different. I don’t know, I must have been 10. She was older. I think she was 11, and I think I was 9, actually.

She was born October 14, 1986, I remember.

I was a child, of course, but what a beautiful girl. She had thin lips. Dark eyes. Cute eyebrows. Pointed eyes. Sweet cheeks.

I always imagined a chubby girl. Or a chubby girl. I don’t know, now that I think about it, what kind of a chubby girl is 11 years old? I was embarrassed. I didn’t think it was appropriate. But I was a child at the time and that’s how I had her engraved in my mind.

But my parents said bad things about Lamia to my ears. She sat around too much with all the boys in their neighborhood and school. They were labeling girls at that age.

If she was a whore, she was a whore. If she was a slut, she was a slut. My mind was always on her.

Maybe my love for Lamia was at the root of my irresistible love for whores and sluts today.

It drives me crazy that men want to sleep with all women, but humiliate and ostracize women who sleep with men, and show them material and moral violence. It makes me sad. It makes me angry.

Maybe Lamia was giving it to others while I was away, but the only thing that concerned me was that she was giving it to me too. When she was 14 or 15 years old, one day she secretly lifted her top up in the kitchen and made me lick her breasts.

That day was, of course, the best day of my life.

We were at their house. I was a guest. Her mother was in the living room watching TV. Lamia was in the kitchen doing the dishes. I was actually sitting next to her mother, but I got up to pass Lamia in the kitchen on the pretext of going to the restroom. In this 3-5 minute period, she opened her top upwards with her hands where the suds of the dishwashing detergent flowed.

The detergent foam even ran from her hands to her breasts and then into my mouth, but at that moment I could have drunk a bottle of dishwashing liquid to lick those breasts.

So my first breast licking experience left a bitter taste of detergent in my mouth.

Also, those beautiful tits remained in my mind as some of the most beautiful tits even when I was 30 years old. So pedophiles became pedophiles for these reasons.

Was Lamia another reason why I found 15-year-old girls beautiful even when I was 30?

Today she is 38-39 years old. Maybe married with children. I have no idea where she is, how she is. I’m not even curious. I last saw her when she was in her 20s. She had gained a lot of weight. Her body had lost its beautiful shape.

And then, when I was dating another girl, I started receiving unnecessary and insistent messages from him. It was sad. It was repulsive behavior. I had to block him.

When I blocked him, he was 21, I was 19 and my new girlfriend was 16.

Was I a pedophile when I was 19?

Now I’m 37 and to be honest I don’t have the old appetite, the old libido. But when I go whoring in Mexico, I sleep with the youngest girls possible, which is naturally 18. 18 seems young enough. I have absolutely no desire to be 17.

18 even feels like a child now. I guess I’m old. Still, it’s a great source of happiness for young lovers like me that the legal limit is not higher than 18.

If we leave prostitution aside and consider the issue of dating, this age limit is already much lower. Even in the US, dating a 16-year-old girl is legal in many states. The age of consent is very low.

But the age limit for prostitution cannot be below 18 anywhere. The US should be kept separate in terms of prostitution. Because here prostitution is already illegal in 49 and a half of the 50 states. It exists everywhere in reality, of course, but it is forbidden on paper.

My mind is on prostitutes. How can I glorify them more? I adore them, of course.

OnlyFans makes me a little happy in that sense. OnlyFans drives a lot of men crazy, oh well. OnlyFans makes a lot of women happy, oh my God.

I worship all the beautiful women in the sex industry. May they make more money. May they get richer and richer.

But of course I can’t reach the rich ones. I have to reach the ones who can’t get rich, so there’s a big contradiction there. I want them to be very happy, but at the same time their happiness lies in the fact that assholes like me and me stay away from them.

Although, for some innocent and poor prostitutes in Mexico or Russia, my existence can be valuable even if I am a jerk. Because not everyone can get rich with OnlyFans. Some of them need hairy fat ugly assholes like me to pay 150 dollars. Oh, thank God. God Almighty has designed it in such a way that we all get fed somehow. Mashallah hodja, inshallah.

What a program he used to do. What happened to him? He’s in jail now, isn’t he? You are very handsome, hodja, my eyes are dazzling, mashallah. Hahahahahah.