As a child, I learned that this place was the greatest power in the world. And the other great power was about to become history, it was becoming history, and as a result, it did – the Soviets are no more. The world was America. It’s not a lie either, you know, America is truly the world – India is here too, China too, Russia too, even Bangladesh, even Kenya too.

If I couldn’t travel the world, just seeing America would have been enough. Plus, Europe was too close on the map. As if I could just pack up and go to Europe tomorrow if I wanted to. But was America like that? It was kilometers, hours, oceans, ships, airplanes away. It was as if I was never going to be able to go there.

Being a student is a beautiful thing. It gives you opportunities. There is Erasmus, there is AIESEC, Work and Travel – I mean, there is an abundance of them. I was determined when I was a student. I didn’t study to find a job, those who study work in shitty jobs just as much as those who don’t anyway. Bossless, motherless, fatherless, loverless – I had to be as free as possible, as liberated as possible. I believed I would achieve this in America. Of course, there was going to be some difficulty, but I was going to succeed.

I don’t regret fleeing to this country at all. Maybe I am not swimming in luxury, but I don’t have my eyes on luxury anyway.

If I can listen to the most rebellious music blasting loud in my own room, under the heavily blowing air conditioner on a hot summer day, if I never go hungry, if I always have money both in my pocket and aside, if I don’t see my mother, my father, my sibling and their tearful faces, if I don’t have to promise a future to any lover and if I’m not forced to get a lover for sex, if I don’t get startled at the crack of dawn by the crow-voiced imam’s horror movie adhan sound, if girls make love in the streets without being labeled a ‘whore’, if men can think about other things too with the comfort of reaching sex whenever they want – even if there are a bunch of retards, even if there are a bunch of idiots, even if there are a bunch of murders, even if there is a bunch of hunger – this place is my hometown, I belong here.

A human being is a murderer anyway, a human being is a thief. Isn’t the thing called natural selection a process where the best thieves, the strongest murderers can survive? Then the most natural life is lived here, brother. And I couldn’t imprison my filthy existence in the prisons of morality.

I reached the biggest filth, the most beautiful country – I feel very free, no one tells me what I have to do, no one interferes with what I do. Staying hungry is also my choice, eating until I burst too. I love its ruthlessness and its boundlessness, I love you, America.