November 11, 2025, Tuesday.
Pearl, Mississippi.

I brought chicken here from South Carolina. $2000. Seven hundred dollars is mine. And tomorrow I’ll pick up a load from here and go to Utah. That’s $3000 too. A thousand dollars of that is mine too. My debt, which was 45 thousand dollars, has dropped below 29 thousand dollars right now. I need to keep paying 1500-2000 every week. The faster we close these debts, the sooner we get rid of working and maybe rest a bit. I can’t wait to go to Tijuana and get massage services from the hands of 18-year-old girls.

I am 37 years old. Marilyn Monroe, Princess Diana, and Bob Marley passed away at 36.

A 37-year-life like mine, or a 36-year-life like Marilyn’s, Diana’s, or Bob’s?

In any case, I’ve left a whole lifetime behind. It was a great 37 years. Sometimes there were sweet girls. Sometimes days that passed with difficulty. I never saw hunger or famine. I was constantly working. I always had some money in my account. One of my favorite things was eating. I could never stay hungry. When I was hungry, I wasn’t myself.

There was no Spotify in the past either. So many creative youths, kids passed away before they could drop hit songs. But some were happy. And of course, some kids were unhappy. My guess nowadays is that happiness or unhappiness is a state that depends entirely on us.

If saying entirely would be unfair, then let’s say it’s a state that depends on us by 90%. Because there were very happy poor people, and very unhappy rich people. There were very happy married people, and very unhappy homeless people.

This obsession of mine with marriage just won’t end. Maybe it’s because I found out today that Hüseyin got his Peruvian girlfriend pregnant. Yes, the poor girl is 4 months pregnant. Hüseyin must be quite pleased with life, and of course he must care about his lineage, that he wanted to bring a child into the world.

I am proud that I have dried up our lineage. Let not another child who looks like me come into the world.

Marilyn, Diana, and Bob also got married in their time. Marilyn has no children. Diana and Bob do. Bob is even the father of 11 children. So, as you can understand, if I came into the world again, rather than having a life like Bob’s, I’d prefer my own shitty life.

What the hell is 11 children? The man formed a football team.

Diana and Marilyn don’t have uplifting lives either. Being a woman must be the hardest thing in the world anyway. Not just in the Middle East, but everywhere in the world, this woman’s fate is a shitty fate. The scale of hatred towards women is very high.

I was only in love with my mother. And because I saw my mother in all women, I had love for women. Weren’t the mothers of these remaining men as magnificent as mine? I’m sure they were. Because not only my mother, but my aunt was a magnificent woman and a magnificent mother too. My grandmother was too. My uncle’s wife, my other aunt, even the mothers in all the families that were our neighbors were magnificent beings.

Because we would play football in the neighborhood with all their sons, and as far as I remember, they all loved their mothers very much too. Mothers were magnificent. So what happened that men decided to hate women?

My guess is the culprits were always the fathers. Fathers who degraded women. Mothers who didn’t have the power to stop them. So because the mothers didn’t have the power, what the fathers said went. And fathers were mostly dishonorable people. Fathers were mostly dishonorable creatures who insulted women. It was like this in the neighborhood too. It was like this at school too. It was like this in politics too.

They would all go to whores, catch a disease from the whore and bring it home, infect their innocent wives with the disease, and then insult whores day and night. I remember. They were all like this. Only my father I didn’t witness, but I’m sure he just didn’t confess it to me because I was his son. Because where everyone is dishonorable, would only my father remain honorable? That’s exactly why not having children is my biggest source of pride. This degenerate generation must end.

I’m sure Bob was dishonorable too. I think every man is dishonorable, because. Come on, let’s not say all of them, but let’s say 90% then.

The world is too cruel for women and overly generous for men. A world full of doves but at the same time full of hyenas.

According to what my whore friend relayed, since August when she started doing this job, her biggest two problems are these: 1. The hygiene of the clients. It’s as if the mannerless filths will die if they take a shower before coming, 2. Their demanding unprotected service. The sons of pimps are even willing to get AIDS out of horniness.

Also, the clients are all married. That part is normal. A single guy will meet someone outside anyway, but a married guy needs to not get caught. That’s why he can’t have a girlfriend. A married man needs a woman who won’t call, won’t text when the job is done. And that woman becomes the sex worker lady.

I said, why don’t you go to Dubai, girl. I’m thinking about it, she said. Because she doesn’t want to stand out too much in Anatolia. She’d be more comfortable there. Also, the hygiene and protection issue gets solved easier there. Because the industry is widespread and the rules are clear. And the money is more there too.

Like a Robin Hood who takes from the rich and gives to the poor, a hero who takes from men and gives to women was needed. I appreciate OnlyFans very much for that. There will be more beautiful setups in the future. One day marriages will end, God willing. Men will work day and night, and all the beauties will have an OnlyFans. You’ll be able to make the beauty you want rich at night. Both the man’s dream will come true – a different beauty every day, and the woman’s – belonging to no one plus money money money, money for perfume, money for shoes, money for bags.

A beautiful dream.

Let me take a nice shower now. And then sleep. Mine is just one of the wasted lifetimes. And it’s meaningless to be sad about this. Because life exists for this anyway. To live it in vain.

Otherwise, whether you’re Marilyn, Diana, or Bob, you can die before even living 37 years. And what remains, do you say? Having your name mentioned in some idiot’s diary. This. That’s it. Fuck this kind of life then. “Life is empty, pump and go wild,” our ancestors said. Even if they were dishonorable, they said a good phrase, no lie. Come on, good pumps, brothers and sisters. Sweet dreams.