March 23, 2025, Sunday.
Jackson, Georgia.

I’m tight on money but it will pass, it will get better. I sent money to Montenegro, that’s why actually. And I lent some money to an older sister. Since that older sister found me this job, I said I’d give it to her. But she hasn’t paid it back yet. That’s how debts are, damn it, they don’t get paid back.

Business is bad but I’m also stopping paying truck rent tomorrow. After that, no stress. Whatever the turnover, 30% will be mine. For example, if I make $5000 turnover, nothing is left for me after rent and fuel. But starting tomorrow, those don’t concern me, even if the turnover is $5000, I get $1500 payment.

Towards May, maybe I can quit the job. Or maybe I won’t quit, just take a leave. My reason for quitting was that I didn’t want to pay rent anyway. If you continue paying rent, you continue paying it even when you take a leave. So I was saying that instead of taking a leave, I’d quit for about a month, take care of my business, and then come back.

But if I’m not going to pay rent, I can work for 4 weeks, take a week off, and in that week I can take care of one or two things, for example. Then I’ll work for another 4 weeks, then take another week off, take care of other things, and so on.

In the back of my mind, there’s also the idea of filing for bankruptcy and not paying the $40,000 debt, but I probably won’t do it. That came from this: my wife left the house but didn’t follow the procedure, she did it wrong. She paid the break lease fee at the wrong time. She didn’t listen, she did what she thought was right, and what she thought was right turned out to be wrong. Now we appear to owe 6-7 months’ rent for that apartment. And this will already lower my credit score. So since my credit score is going to shit anyway, I’m thinking of not paying the debts either, whatever happens, but as I said, it’s just a fleeting thought.

Life is spent working, but that’s how it should be. We’re on the roads every day, or even worse like today, there’s no work and I’m lying down. I’m lying down but not at home, in states I have no connection to.

I don’t even have money in my pocket. I already forgot my credit card at the open buffet restaurant yesterday. If I had money, maybe I’d go to a prostitute, but no, I can’t for a very long time. There are debts, and I don’t have the desire I used to.

As things go to shit in the world, losers like me rejoice. I’m happy in that regard these days. Because my life is shit anyway, and as everything goes to shit all over the world, I have a chance to be happy by thinking, “I’m not happy, but nobody else is either.” 🙂 Thank God.

Anyway, what will change if İmamoğlu becomes president? He will also enrich his own friends and family. After 3-5 years, he will also get used to that seat and won’t want to leave. All people are the same. If I were him, I would do the same. If I were president, I would appoint my 81 followers as governors of the 81 provinces. That’s normal. Everyone favors their own friends and family. I’ve always seen it that way.

So what, if I become president, my sister’s life won’t be saved? Can such a thing happen? Of course, I will bring my own friends and family to the most important positions. Ekrem would do the same if he came. Ümit Özdağ would do the same if he came. Selahattin, and everyone else too. It has to be this way. Because that’s the kind of creature humans are.

We shouldn’t exaggerate humans too much. We’re just animals after all. A chimpanzee. A lion. A zebra, a turtle. And a pregnant turtle at that.

We need to keep expectations low. Even this much is too much. We can be proud of whatever we’ve achieved. Everything is luck. He got the presidency by chance, the other got prison. I got trucking by chance, you got the metrobus. Like that. But there’s a bigger elephant than a camel. There’s a worse African than you. There’s an Arab sheikh who’s better off than Tayyip. It never ends. If you want to be sad, you can always find someone who is better off than you. If you want to be happy, there are billions of Chinese, Indians, Africans, Latin Americans you can look at and be grateful for your situation.