I have an incredible headache. A deadly one.

I understand why people don’t want to live forever. These illnesses… we embrace illness easily. It’s a normal thing. And illness makes us accept death. You say, “I’d rather die than live like this.”

No beauty starts to look beautiful enough to your eyes. Even the most beautiful girls have turned into farting, shitting, shitty creatures in my eyes. It’s not like I can say to myself, “Look, there are still these things, hold on to life.” Saying “leave life and go” comforts me more.

Human lifespan isn’t short at all, it’s as long as it should be. We don’t have to see the whole world, seeing 3-5 countries is enough. It’s not like every moment of life will be beautiful, 3-5 beautiful events in youth are enough and even more than enough for a lifetime.

I wasn’t aware, but I can identify my most beautiful days now when I look back. I am grateful to all those beautiful girls. They were the ones who made this life beautiful. However, I don’t need any other beauty from this point on. I just need to close my eyes one last time and for this headache to never recur.