Diary – 2016/03/25

It’s nothing to lick, really. Have you ever sucked a penis? I have. It’s such a simple thing. It’s very light. He was a Korean guy. He just broke up with his girlfriend. He broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years and said, “I don’t have a relationship ready, let me try everything.” He had his first gay experience with me. Coincidentally, he was my first penis in my mouth. Although I have no plans to repeat it in the short term (I need to maintain the relationship I’m in now for 3-5 years; you know, living, working, traveling, etc.), no one knows what will happen in the long term.

I would like to try again with an extremely handsome and open-minded man. But it shouldn’t be just the two of us. There should be 4-5 open-minded women around. Like an orgy. That way, there aren’t so many homosexuals in the relationship. Am I homophobic or what? – Ahaha, the guy says “I took it in my mouth,” then asks “Am I homophobic?” – Ahaha(!) You idiot! You’re OK with Cemil İpekçi saying “I’m a conservative homosexual,” but you’re surprised that he’s a homophobe who had a gay relationship? A gay relationship is just a relationship. The parties don’t necessarily have to be gay. Which I did for money. Yes.

I wanted to be a whore. It wasn’t enough to say I’d be a whore if I were a girl. I wanted to be a male prostitute. I felt disgusted when women praised prostitution and said, “It’s easy to say that because you’re a man.” I had to prove to myself that I really liked prostitution and prostitutes. That’s why I advertised. The site I advertised on was actually a gigolo site. So the plan was not to put a penis in the mouth, but to stick a tongue in the vagina or anus (but a woman’s anus). What goes around comes around! Haha.

Anyway, this Korean guy messaged me. We exchanged messages for a long time. When he said okay for 300 dollars, I said okay. So I would have made 300 dollars in one night. Good money for me. Especially considering my pennilessness at that time, very good money. Anyway, I sent the money to my mom the next day. They needed the money. That’s how I was able to motivate myself a little bit.

Sir, the Korean came and picked me up in front of the grocery store in the middle of the night. We went to a hotel. Of course, the hotel fee belonged to him. “I have to get up very early in the morning,” he said. That was very good news. After all, I wasn’t going to be having sex with a person I was in love with. Especially considering that I was going to have a homosexual relationship when I wasn’t homosexual, I wasn’t very happy.

Anyway, the guy got undressed. He got in the shower. We got in the shower together. Actually, I wanted to say, “You want a shower, he’ll give you another 100 dollars,” but in the end I wasn’t a Russian stunner. I was just a hairy, pot-bellied guy. My gay friends know that gay people find such things sexy. Hair, belly. It looks masculine to them. Although it varies from gay to gay, but there are gay people who like it like that. The most realistic approach is this: A man is a man, even if he is gay. “As long as he breathes” can also apply to gay men. I mean, maybe the Korean guy would have been attracted to me just because I was breathing. Ahaha.

We’re out of the shower. We’re fresh. We’re in bed. We’re both amateurs. He’s waiting for me to say, “I’m a whore,” and I’m waiting for him to say, “He’s the one who pays, so let him say what he wants to do.” By the way, while we were texting, I explained to the guy that I was not gay, so I didn’t promise him anal sex, neither actively nor passively, although I made a note that actively it was possible, but passively, no way. In fact, my anus is already unappetizing even for an erect penis. I already have hemorrhoids. You know, it’s not a pleasant sight. But this is a matter of taste. For example, once a Russian sister stuck her tongue in that anus with hemorrhoids. Yes, she did. Those were good times. Hehe. Enjoy yourselves.

Anyway, but I told the guy, “Even if my penis is going to penetrate your anus, it’s very difficult for me to do it. Because I’m very bad at penetrating the anus. Forget men, I have always had very difficult moments even with women who offer me anal sex (you know, our young people are virgins, the paths to the vagina are closed, unfortunately).” That’s why I said, “If you want to have it, here’s your penis, erect it, and then take it inside if you can.” So I said that in the message. But that night in the hotel, the boy didn’t go there because he was embarrassed or something. Maybe he didn’t want to rush. But he didn’t have much time. It was almost 1:00 in the morning. He had to wake up around 5 o’clock and go back to the city he came from, and to work. I think he was coming from somewhere about an hour and a half away. So we only had a couple of hours, but he had to sleep for part of it. I was really lucky, I was going to make very easy money. And that’s what happened.

First he sucked my penis for a while. Normally, if a woman sucked my penis, I would orgasm in 2 minutes at most if I didn’t hold myself back. But because I’m not interested in male-male intercourse, I didn’t have an orgasm even though the boy sucked for minutes. Which is good for prostitution. After all, he wouldn’t want me to cum right away. In fact, he probably wouldn’t want me to cum at all. After all, he’s the one paying for an orgasm, not me. At least not that night. Because on other nights it’s me who pays, you know I’m a prostitution addict {I was, because I haven’t slept with anyone else since my girlfriend and I started dating. Not because I don’t want to, but because my girlfriend won’t let me. I don’t want to cheat (at least for now). As for the permission, I actually made a request to her and to be fair, I even asked her to be a flirt, but she said no. Well, if he says no, it’s not going to happen, so what to do?!}.

Sir, actually neither of us had an orgasm that night, I don’t know if that makes me a bad whore, but the client didn’t want to have an orgasm either. Otherwise, paying 300 dollars and not having an orgasm would be a problem. A very big problem. But the Korean didn’t complain. So she sucked my boy, I sucked her boy for a while, and then she licked my anus, yes (I don’t know, maybe I’m the only one who has a problem with hemorrhoids). After that we cuddled and went to bed. We fell asleep. 2 hours later his alarm went off. We got dressed. We got in the car. We went to the bank. He withdrew 300 dollars from the ATM. He handed it to me. It was a joke. I was so happy. He drove me home and left.

I went home with 300 dollars in my hand, this story in my mind, a smile on my face and the joy of prostitution in my soul. I lay on the couch. I slept. I was naked. You’d think he’d take a shower first, wouldn’t you?! You asshole! And why did I tell you that? I don’t know. I got bored. I thought I was boring myself writing about women, women, women. – Look at him, he was bored writing about women so he started writing about men. I wish you had kept writing about women, God damn you! + Don’t be homophobic, you faggot! And how many people in the world would go and prostitute themselves to prove to themselves that being so intimate with prostitutes has nothing to do with degrading women?!

I’m not trying to put a higher meaning on my prostitution. I did it for money, of course, like any other prostitute! I don’t regret it. I would do it again. But it would have to be the same Korean (although I wish it was a female clientele). Because not every client is that good. Indeed, the biggest worry of prostitutes is that they don’t know whether the client they are going to meet is a murderer or an extortionist. I realized this myself that night while waiting for the Korean. After all, I could have met a serial killer, it could have been my last night. But then again, every night could be our last night.

Then let’s all say it together: [https://youtu.be/RGeS3QjUmAo Tonight is the Last]. Soon I will walk out of this door for the last time and hit the road again. Who knows how many times my face will get wet. Take my hand, please don’t be an enemy. Don’t let our insides fall apart. Be happy, take care of yourself, please. Don’t leave me behind. You have many, many years ahead of you. One day, darling, you’ll get used to the pain. You’ll get used to everything, notebook. Goodbye. See you again soon. Neither you nor me, unless we fall victim to a suicide bombing. It’s kismet.

And if we die, I want them to say, “She was a whore anyway.” I really love whoring and whores. While they think they’re humiliating me behind my back, I’ll be celebrating being in the highest rank. Because whoring is the highest rank, notebook. You know Erdal Kaplanseren’s interview, “I’m an escort; I also write in the dictionary; I’m going to save money and open a bakery”, when I read that article, I fell in love with Erdal Kaplanseren, Ekşi Sözlük and the dictionary writer escort who dreams of a bakery. What can I do? I love him so much, man! – If you love him, I suggest you talk to him. Keh keh keh keh. + Kehkehkehkeh. Bug. I’ve been talking for two hours. I think I should shut up. – Shut up, for fuck’s sake, shut up. For the love of Zeus, shut up! + You’re Zeus and love is for you! No sexist swearing!

{No, even if it’s sexist, we don’t have any other swear words (or should I say in our language?!) unfortunately. We’ll have to use this one from time to time. What should we do? Fuck you? It doesn’t make any difference to me. If it will be understood, that’s fine too. But I still think it would be more appreciated if hetero women used that one and we used this one. Wouldn’t it? I think it would. It’s late. It’ll be six in the morning there. It’s afternoon here} See you later.

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