Actually, it’s not just now, it will always be like this. I will always have to be busy with something, and the things I write will remain unfinished. We need to get used to this – you and me. You’re the only one reading me anyway. Don’t say anything. Not everyone should read this. I’m scared because of it. Maybe someday I’ll confess the murders I’ve committed. But these are things that no one should know. Murder is free! Confessing is a crime! For example, kill someone and destroy all the evidence – you’re free! Live your life! But when you turn 80 and can’t keep the secret anymore, confess – see what happens?! You’ll spend the rest of your few years or weeks – whatever is left – in jail.

So, what should we have done, dear? Should we have left the murderer free? After all, they’ve been free for years! Either you catch every criminal, or every criminal – everyone – will walk free. To me, that’s what justice seems like. But I accept it – my brain is already broken. Don’t listen to me. Yes, I’ve committed murders. But no one died. Therefore, I’m not exactly a murderer. For example, a person who wants to kill their neighbor fails due to their clumsiness, and a minute later, the neighbor dies of a heart attack on their own; the person who planned to kill their neighbor is saved from being a murderer. They will live a clean life and pass away. Isn’t it interesting? Maybe not. But I think it is.

Some of you didn’t even get the opportunity to commit a crime and live as if you’re innocent. Some of you, on the other hand, have been pushed and shoved since childhood. You’re practically forced to commit a crime. And when that day comes, they’ll handcuff your wrists as if it’s the most natural thing in the world and take you to heaven. For some, jail is heaven. I’ve met people who cry and beg, “Judge, please don’t release me. Life is more peaceful behind those four walls. I don’t have to kill anyone in that cage.” Jail – what a disgusting place. People lock people up in jails. And this isn’t cruel, right?

Sometimes I kind of understand the naive northern and western humanists. Sometimes I also kind of side with the racists of the same north and west. When I say “side,” I mean it in a positive sense. I agree with them. The conclusion I’ve come to is this: I admire the northern and western humanists and racists alike. I don’t admire humanism or fascism, I admire the northern and western people! Isn’t that such a dumb thing? But well, I’m a fool anyway.

Do I believe this? Do you think I’m sincere when I confess to being a fool? I don’t think so. I’m insincere. I’m sorry, and I’m even insincere about being sorry. That’s why I’m truly sorry. Sincerityception! I believe that some people need to die. The world is too small for 7 billion people. Forget 7 billion, it’s not even big enough for half a billion. “I wish only Scandinavia existed” – I’m struggling not to say it. As I speak, how much of a fool I am becomes more and more obvious. But whatever. I’m not Scandinavian anyway. So, you can’t blame the Scandinavians for my foolishness. Otherwise, you’re civilized enough not to blame the whole community just because of one member, right? Then I love you too. I want to be like you.

I was slightly more polite when writing here in the past, but that went away some time ago. I ruined it again. I grew up in a racist geography. I can’t find fault in myself. I don’t believe in self-criticism either. Look, now I’ve made geography the scapegoat for my faults. You know, actually, if you’re a man who doesn’t stop your sister from having sex, I love you too! Yes, my real criteria for people isn’t whether they’re Scandinavian or not! Wouldn’t that be a stupid thing to say? But I can’t fully be in favor of freedom either. I’m not sure.

The only thing I’m sure of is this: I love everyone who helps sexual relations spread. I’m in love with both the man and the woman of the “abazan” type! I get disgusted with those who say, “Everything’s about sex!” Yes, everything is about sex! Everything, but everything – u çe ka u re, uçekaure (it sounds like a West African footballer’s name. I don’t really like football. Am I a man? How would I be? If the money spent on football was used to spread sex, for example? How? I don’t know, maybe we could encourage women. Buy houses and cars for those who are having sex. Haha, I had asked if I’m a man, and yes, I am. There’s no way to understand this much horniness otherwise)!

For now, that’s all I have to say. My arms are tired. How is this a diary? Can a diary be like this? I don’t know. What should I name it? I couldn’t decide. What should I call it? Feriha? But Feriha has no leadership quality. I’m also crazy about Hazal Kaya. I had a crush on her in Genco. Maybe most of you hadn’t even discovered her by then. I fall in love with short women, chubby women, women with big butts, and women with colored eyes. Sometimes I fall in love 7-8 times in one day. Hazal Kaya isn’t chubby or big-bottomed, but she’s short and has colored eyes. She also has a beautiful face. A beautiful face is the most important. In fact, it’s the only thing that matters! Long legs, pillar-like legs, I don’t care. It’s just legs. A woman’s leg doesn’t mean anything to me.

Maybe you should go to Aytaç Ars if your legs are really beautiful. Oh, wait, he wasn’t a leg guy; I think he was an ankle guy. Oh, what do I know? I don’t care! Thank God, my girlfriend is short, chubby, big-bottomed, and big-breasted. Also, she has a huge belly. Yes, a belly. Mmmfh, I get really turned on by a belly. Belly fetishism! Is there such a thing? There must be. What doesn’t exist? In a world where “2 Girls 1 Cup” exists, what’s impossible? Yuck. It’s disgusting, seeing them eat each other’s shit, vomit… Bleegh (Yes, that’s the sound of my stomach turning. As you can see, I do have a stomach. And it’s not as big as you think. What’s up?) Also, my lover has a beautiful face.

Well, go on, go love your lover then. Why do you care about your disgusting brain? Hehe. You’re right. But it’s a matter of taste. What you write also disgusts me. Every day, every day, “Where’s my father? Wake up! We’re on holiday!” You guys make people sick of their fathers, dirty bastards. I love Atatürk. Who doesn’t? Of course, there are people who don’t. There should be. It’s not easy. People who lost their lives. I understand them. Well, politics? I don’t care. Does your planet have “love,” ‘love’?

*When I say love, you should know I’m not talking about the kind of love you know. The love you talk about is all mushy. The love I’m talking about is the union of bodies. It’s all about the body. And what did our ancestor say? A sound mind is found in a sound body. If you don’t have sex, will you lose your mind? Could that be what Bülent Kayabaş meant in that iconic movie scene? I’ve lost my mind from hitchhiking. Don’t hitchhike. Don’t help those who do. The surroundings are full of suicide bombers. Kiss. Bye!