May 28, 2025, Wednesday.
Cherokee, Alabama.

Oh, look at that son of a bitch. He’s cutting in front of me. We’re waiting in line at the gas station, a bunch of trucks lined up behind each other, and this smartass comes and cuts in front of me from the left. Look, look, he’s Black too. I’m a racist, you know.

No, no, that’s not how it works, I got out of the car. Of course, it’s the biggest injustice in the world. There’s no more important injustice in the world right now. The whole Ekrem İmamoğlu being in prison thing is a fairy tale next to this. The biggest injustice is here, at the gas station.

I said, “Hey man, what’s up? We’ve been waiting there for two hours and you come and cut in front of us from the left.” He says, “No, there was no one waiting, you were waiting to park or something.”

Damn it, I’m gonna screw myself out of anger, it’s really so hard to understand who’s waiting for what at truck stops. Everyone’s got their hazard lights on, waiting in the middle of the road everywhere anyway.

So I don’t not understand my Black brother right now. In fact, my anger has subsided a bit, but I got out of the car once, there’s no turning back. And he already made it like, “Okay, fine, screw off, get in your car, cut in front of me.”

I prevented a great injustice. I saved the world. I didn’t let them step on my rights. Oh, relief.

Anyway, I’m moving forward. Forward, forward, and there I am, moving towards the pumps at the very front. No one’s going there, those spots are empty, they’re all idiots.

No, no. Holy hell. What a mess. The first two pumps aren’t working. That’s why no one was moving this way. Ugh! I’ve already pulled in, I can’t back out now. A huge truck, a tiny space, where are you going to back out to? And they even taped off the pump, they wrapped yellow tape all over it from end to end saying, “Don’t enter these pumps.” So even if you wanted to say, “Screw it, I’ll go,” that’s not possible either.

The Black guy must have already gotten to one of the pumps at the end. The universe chose him tonight. I just hope he didn’t see what happened to me from between the other trucks. Because it’s a very embarrassing situation.

Anyway, screw it, I got out, cut the tape with scissors, pulled out of the pump, but I didn’t get back on the road, I went back and got in line for fuel.

Look, there’s another Black guy behind me. He’s asking something, I can’t hear what he’s saying. I got out and went over to him. He was saying he was going to the weigh station. I said, “Go ahead, you go ahead, don’t wait for us.” I’m offering my dialogue with this current Black guy as a bribe to my conscience, which was hurt because I yelled at the other Black guy. This Black guy liked me, of course. He thanked me, passed by me, and went to the weigh station.

He’s handsome too, that queer. Tall. And he’s Black anyway. Honestly, there’s no woman he can’t have. I wish I was taller. And not fat. But it’s too late now. Then it was my turn. I filled up the tank and left.

I listened to Simge Sağın all day. I’m in love with this lady. She looks so beautiful to me. Am I exaggerating, or is this lady truly the peak of womanhood? Her voice is beautiful, her songwriting is beautiful, her eyes are beautiful, her face is like a baby’s, her physique is graceful, her style is cool! Am I burning, is this permissible? I fell in love again out of nowhere.

My favorite song of hers is “Önümüz Yaz” (Summer is Ahead), then “Aşkın Olayım” (Let Me Be Your Love) I guess. But I adore all her songs. I’ve listened to all of them countless times and I can’t get enough. I can’t remember the last time I was so in love with someone, listened to someone so much, loved and admired someone so much. I mean, I’m setting aside Sagopa Kajmer, Ceza, Rafet El Roman and all that. They’re not women anyway, none of them. Wow, damn it, Simge Sağın has literally taken over my soul and my brain. And what’s more, Simge doesn’t even give a damn about this situation. I’m the one suffering here. Poor me.