May 25, 2025, Sunday.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

I’m heading from Arizona to New Jersey. And tonight, I’m passing through Oklahoma. They’ll pay me two thousand dollars for this trip. Is it worth going from Arizona to New Jersey for two thousand dollars? Of course, it is! I’d do this trip for free, actually.

Shhh, don’t make a sound. Don’t let the idiots wake up. If they wake up, they’ll hit me with the truth without mercy. The truth is: “Where are you doing that trip for free, my ass?!”

Along the way, we’re talking with Ildefons Yeshil, Andorra’s representative for American trucks. Ildefons is actually from Ordu (a city in Turkey). His real name isn’t Ildefons, of course. His real name is Müslüm. But he doesn’t like his name. He sees himself as European and enjoys introducing himself as European.

Claiming to be from one of the big European countries didn’t sit right with him. He was afraid they’d ask a couple of questions and his cover would be blown. So he decided on Andorra because it’s a small country. He thought, “Who would know anything about Andorra?” and he liked that idea.

He found and chose the name Ildefons from among the players in the Andorra national football team. He didn’t touch his own surname. He just writes the “Ş” as “Sh”, that’s all. So Müslüm Yeşil from Ordu turned into Ildefons Yeshil from Andorra.

When he calls, I answer the phone with “Good morning, my brother Ildefons,” and he really likes it. Because normally his other friends keep making fun of him for this habit. I never even thought about making fun of him. I respect him. If the man says “My name is Ildefons,” then his name is Ildefons to me. If Bülent Ersoy can claim to be a woman, Müslüm Yeşil should be able to claim to be Ildefons.

Lest you misunderstand, I’m not against Bülent Ersoy’s womanhood either.

Life is short. Whoever wants to be whatever, let them be. What will we lose anyway? Did you choose your name that you’re so proud of it? You didn’t choose your gender either. You didn’t choose where you were born, or the year you were born; you didn’t choose anything, actually.

So, long live the colorfulness of randomness.

Not having chosen anything is incredibly enjoyable. There’s no one to blame. You have no right to complain. Normally, you shouldn’t have existed at all, but here you are. Now, kiss your mother’s cheeks and appreciate what you have. Don’t worry, no one is happier than you. Everyone is in the same boat. All our lives are crappy. The important thing is to be able to enjoy even a crappy life. There’s the secret to life for you.

If you get too bored, just say “My name is Ildefons.” Who the fuck would know? If they start making fun of you, call me. I’ll drop a “Good morning, my brother Ildefons” for you, and we’ll laugh like idiots on the phone.

By the way, my brother Ildefons got mad at me today. I was sleeping during the day. I put my phone on silent when I sleep. When I woke up, I saw two missed calls. One was from my brother Ildefons, the other from my brother Mesut. No lie, I like talking to my brother Mesut more. So I called my brother Mesut first, but he didn’t answer the phone. When he didn’t answer, this time I called Mister Ildefons.

During the conversation, I said, “Honestly, I was sleeping when you called. I woke up and saw two missed calls. I called both of you.” Here, Mister Ildefons cut in. “Tell me the truth, did you call him first or me?” “Honestly, I called him first, brother,” I said. “Okay, I’m hanging up,” he said and hung up the phone. The man got mad.

Now that I think about it. He didn’t need to ask. Since I said I called both of you and I’m talking to you now, it means I called him first, right? Hehe.

Anyway. He called again an hour later. His sulking must have passed. We talked about celebrities for a bit, and then it was his bedtime. He preferred to drive early this morning. I’m a night owl. It’s very hot during the day because it’s the southern side. Ildefons was in the north today, of course. He didn’t feel this heat. Good night for now then. See you again in a day or two. Have a good day. Have a good night.