May 21, 2025, Wednesday.
San Antonio, Texas.

Things are great. Everything’s going well. Work continues. Old flames are pregnant. I almost got scammed. Sagopa music forever.

I learned that when we lend money, we don’t lend it because we trust the person; we lend it because we trust ourselves.

You know fasting, right? The state of not eating. Like, we don’t eat when we sleep at night, do we? We’re fasting. And in the morning, we break the fast and have breakfast. How about that? I’m enlightened. Is this true? That’s how they explained it to me.

Is there a connection between the word “avukat” (lawyer) and “avokado” (avocado)? Spaniards say “abogado” for lawyer. That’s what got me thinking.

I met a girl on Twitter last year. OnlyFans style. But she doesn’t have OnlyFans. She sells photos, videos, and conversations on Telegram. I sent 1000 lira, then 5000 lira, we met, we chatted.

Then she introduced me to her friend. Her friend understands these things. An expert at extorting money from men, her friend. From men like me, that is. But the friend is also a man, by the way.

Anyway, we met, chatted, became friends. In fact, if it were possible, I would have set him up with a girl, so he could get married and come over. So he could come and we could do these things together. Get into the sex industry in some small way.

It didn’t happen. It stayed as it was. Months passed.

The girl messaged me recently, saying, what is it, she got a Green Card. “That’s great, fantastic, come on over,” I said. “No,” she says, “I have credit card debt,” she says, “and I’m going to have a romance with a client who pays off that debt.”

Okay. She actually posted an ad like that. But what does that mean to me? I can fuck 50 women with that money; why would I give that money to you?

She tells me, “You pay off the debt, I’ll come to America, and then we’ll fuck things up over there and so on.”

I said, “Are you crazy? You couldn’t find anyone, so you decided to scam me?” I told her this directly. When I said that, she got offended, sulked, and walked away.

Let her go, of course. It’s like a joke. She couldn’t find anyone to fuck, so she was going to fuck me. Look at that situation.

I reached out to her friend. The male one. I said, “Hey, what’s up, your friend is talking like this.” He said, “That’s right, she is. She got the card and all.” I said, “Well, if she got the card, why don’t you get married and come over?” Coincidentally, this friend also fled abroad. I don’t know. Too many coincidences. Unfortunately, I can’t trust it.

Anyway, this conversation went back and forth between us for 2-3 days, then it was forgotten. Interesting. If I were the old naive and rich me, maybe I would have bent over and said, “Go on, fuck me.” But I’ve learned a bit now. I’m already in debt. Leave me alone.

This is also why I said that when we give money, we don’t give it because we trust the person we’re giving it to, but because we trust ourselves. Because the possibility of the person not paying it back is always in our minds. We can give it when we can say yes to the question, “Even if they don’t pay it back, can I manage?” So we don’t trust the person 100% that they will definitely pay it back. We trust ourselves, that we can manage even if they don’t pay it back. I discovered this.